Obviously the most ethical place to find a dog is a rescue centre.
If you want a specific breed that ISN'T Staffordshire bull terrier cross (which the rescue centres are crammed full of) there are usually local and national Breed Societies who re-home unwanted dogs of that breed.
Unfortunately though, rescue dogs are not for everyone, all the time. In our case a rescue dog wouldn't be appropriate, and no rescues are likely to consider us.
We have three children, aged 10, 5 and 3. Two of those children, the eldest and youngest, have Autism Spectrum Disorder. The eldest also has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). So because of the young age of our children most rescues won't even consider us (they generally like children over 10 at a minimum, we're in the UK so YMMV depending on where in the world you are), and because of our childrens' additional support needs we do not feel good about bringing an adult dog with unknown but specific issues (and the vast majority of rescue dogs DO have issues, with training or behaviour, which need to be addressed) into our home. We have owned rescue dogs in the past, and will no doubt own them again in the future. But at this specific time it isn't a realistic path for us.
You can usually find puppies of every imaginable breed and cross for sale on sites like Gumtree, Pets4Homes, Criagslist etc. Unfortunately there is no way to know exactly what you're getting if you go that route. The puppy could be from a loving home, carefully bred from well matched health tested parents and carefully socialised. Or it could be from a puppy farm, born of an untested set of parents to turn a quick profit and have never met a human until the day the man who brought it to your house came to take it from its mother. MANY MANY puppy farmed and backyard bred puppies grow up into lovely, well-balanced, enviable family pets without any health problems. But some don't. You can certainly get a dog that way, we just decided it was a risk and we didn't want to take it.
So, having discounted that route and chosen our preferred breed, we began to look for a breeder.
Dog breeders seem to be an odd bunch. Some will get back to you immediately upon an enquiry but MANY won't. For the vast majority of good breeders (by which i mean those who love their dogs, keep them in or at their homes, carefully have their health tested before breeding, wait until they are a fair age to breed, limit the number of litters they have and are selective about who they sell their puppies to) are not turning a profit from breeding. Because of this they usually work full time at something else, and are limited for time. They might not answer your enquiry simply because they aren't planning a litter. Others will get back to you right away with a lengthy response only to tell you eventually that they have stopped breeding for good.
We looked at various breed-specific websites and the Kennel Club site before we found our breeder. I emailed several breeders who i immediately discounted because of how they responded. One "Hi, we're interested in your dogs, are you planning a litter?" enquiry was met with, "Yep, due in 3 weeks, £700, £100 now if you want one."! I didn't want a dog from someone who didn't care where it was going, so i just left it there.
I actually found our breeder because she happens not to live far away. Good breeders are few and far between, there just isn't money in breeding if you only breed your few well-kept dogs ethically. So most of those who breed are doing so to improve their breed and/or in the hopes of producing a Champion. I'd found two closer but neither seemed to have health tested their dogs. I'd found many farther away but none i'd particularly clicked with.
Things that let me know our breeder was the Right One for us: she wanted to talk on the phone rather than just email, she asked some questions about our family and home (to be fair i had already volunteered a LOT about it via email because i thought it would waste everyone's time to not mention those things early on if something later turned out to be a dealbreaker), she was completely un-phased by being asked a million questions about her dogs and how they are kept and bred, her breeding dogs are all health tested and she was willing to share their results before we even went on a waiting list, she was also happy to share the name and practice of her vet and was fine with us enquiring there after the health and wellbeing of her dogs, she discussed the price of puppies but only when i asked and it was by far the last thing discussed rather than the first. Aside from all of that i found an easy rapport with her and she was kind about staying in touch and answering my many silly breed-specific questions.
She wasn't planning immediately, but as our children were even younger (1,4 and 8) when i first contacted her, we were happy to wait. You will OFTEN need to wait to get a dog from a decent breeder. Unless you happened to contact them when they already have puppies "on the ground" (which means born and well and looking for forever homes) and they also happened not to have sorted homes for everyone, you will probably be added to a waiting list.
We were on a list for over a year. I know a lot of people would look elsewhere, but we'd clicked and finding someone kind, ethical and local (so you can actually visit easily and if you need assistance where seeing the dog will make it easier for them to help) is invaluable. Our breeder is Arkangel's kennels, and once i'd found them i wasn't going anywhere else.
The first planned mating didn't happen. This was partly due to stuff going on in the breeder's family - puppies are a massive commitment, many people don't realise a good breeder is sleeping right next to the whelping box from before the puppies are born until they are 3-5 weeks old, missing lots of sleep in order to make sure all the pups are feeding well, the mum isn't rolling on them, everyone is growing and developing normally etc. so a planning a litter to coincide with exams, weddings, or any other life event that takes time and energy isn't a good idea. And partly it was due to the age of the dog when the bitch came into season - a good breeder won't breed a dog or bitch until it is fully grown and matured. The exact age varies from breed to breed but it's later in larger breeds. The mating was then planned for the next season, usually they occur every 6 months. So we waited. And waited. And the season didn't come.
Eventually another Arkangel's bitch, a showing star, came into season. Putting an in-season bitch with a not-in-season bitch can bring the no-in-season bitch on. So the breeder tried that and YAY! Success. Two good matings took place over a few days and we settled to wait again. Our breeder kept in touch, which i loved, and i was kept up to date with how things were going. First when a scan showed both bitches were pregnant, and then as they both got bigger.
Once it had become clear the pregnancy was going well, it was time to meet the breeder and dogs face to face.
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